I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
