so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
