I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish you could order shots online.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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