So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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