Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
