Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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