K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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