I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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