YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
