I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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