whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
