Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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