The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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