Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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