if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
