Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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