her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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