The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
