I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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