Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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