Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
