Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
We smell like vodka and hangover
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