dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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