hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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