wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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