so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
