I like to think it a success when the cops are called
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
