yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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