in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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