It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
