it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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