tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
