So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize