ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
