oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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