can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize