Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
