your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
