Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
