Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
