this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
