did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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