He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
