i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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