I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
