I bet he comes in French.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
