Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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