Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i think i have two assholes
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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