Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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