I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think my moral compass just broke
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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