And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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