i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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