i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
