Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
