you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
