So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I understand Curling. That high.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
