Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
