No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
