Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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