Non-Jews are for practice
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
and she was petting her beer can
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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