I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My balls are so social today.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
