I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Two words: nipple clamps
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