I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
