dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
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Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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